How I Bribe Mexican Cops

When I first arrived in Tijuana, I got pulled over by a motorcycle policeman after I accidentally made an illegal turn.

He was a bit like a caricature of a policía … the obligatory moustache and overweight, in a too-tight shirt that stretched open between the buttons.

He wasn’t menacing.

In fact, we had a friendly chat and pretty soon we were on a first-name basis.

“Marcus, como vamos a arreglarlo?”
“Marcus, how are we going to fix it?”

I replied, “No sé.”
I don’t know.

The conversation repeated … several times.

En aquel entonces yo era muy inocente.
Back then I used to be very naïve.

When he realized I was clueless, he
got straight to the point.

“Dame 100 pesos y ya.”
“Give me 100 pesos and that’s it.”

I said, “No tengo cien pesos solo tengo veinte pesos.”
I don’t have 100 pesos; I’ve only got 20 pesos.

He didn’t believe me.

I showed him my wallet.

Está bien. Dame eso.
It’s OK. Give me that.

I like to tell my Aussie and American friends about the day I bribed a Tijuana cop. It sounds daring. Now you know the real story.

At least I got a discount.

Here’s the bribe I have for you. It’s not illegal or immoral; it’s just a great way to speak Spanish at a huge discount.

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